you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
