I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
