I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
