Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
