Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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