And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I enjoy the company of your penis
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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