Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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