so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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