And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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