U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
