very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Randomize
