Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
