shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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