so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Tornado booty call.. dedication
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
