Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
