do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Boobs are out for the taking
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
