Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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