This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
