I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
