We're like a lot better than the average bears
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
