Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
PANTIES FOUND
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