i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize