But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
if i can run in heels then i can drive
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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