The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
jump out the window naked night went bad
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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