just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize