trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
