when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
