i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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