this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
