Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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