I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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