how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
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