I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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