so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
