i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
