I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
