Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
