You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
