in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
