If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
