And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
