I seem to have left my pride at pride
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
We're too hungover to prance.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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