I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
