Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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