my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Randomize
