Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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