anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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