some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
