i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
