You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize