I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
