they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
