Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
we're making bets on your personal life
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
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