You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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