I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
