i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize